There was a magnificent thunderstorm right over big Proctor on July 9. I was hiking with the ole Luckster and remember thinking, THANK YOU for this amazing show happening right here in front of me. I also remember the day because things were beginning to starting to seriously unravel for me. I was asking everyone, God, the Universe, my Guides, my Angels and my ancestors for some love, support and mostly courage to move forward. As I began to run down, a beautiful hawk started soaring right in front of this stormy backdrop. I sensed immediately that the hawk was a sign. if you know me at all, you can easily imagine what happened next. I began to weep with gratitude.
This from Spiritanimal.com: “…hawks can soar and fly high in the sky. This animal has the power to provide support in gaining a higher level perspective on any issue or project you undertake. When the hawk appears in your life, it’s perhaps time to be less distracted by the details and focus on the higher perspective. Relying on the hawk power, you can see what’s ahead clearly and defy any obstacles that may be on your way. A specific way the hawk guidance works is to use a high level and yet clear and focused vision to guide your action.”
That beautiful, powerful bird delivered a beautiful, powerful message. Time to start operating and considering things from a higher level perspective.
I’m back to using that Hawk energy in looking at the lessons that are up for me now. I start the higher perspective by picturing my soul before it came in to inhabit this body that became known as Angela. I imagine my soul looking over a menu of choices in some fancy cool place somewhere in the Universe. Let’s see, now when you turn 48, let’s create a storm in your life that forces you to face two major pieces. These lessons will be hard, painful and at times you won’t want to do face them but when you do, you’ll get to grow, heal and evolve to a deeper understanding as a human.
Let’s pick these two:
- You’ll finally start to address the fact that you can’t save anyone. This reality is going to hurt because you’ll still think that somehow you can feel someone’s feelings for them. You’ll finally have to stop trying to get people that you love to look at solutions that could potentially make them feel better. This pattern will start when you’re a kid just to make sure that it is a formidable challenge when it comes back up for your attention in 2017 as an adult. It will take ending a very long relationship to finally understand that not only will you not be able to save anyone; no one wants to be saved (or even needs saving!!). Everyone else has their very own menu. Stay on your side of the table here. Part two of this will be, You’ll get to move forward with your own JOY with full force, which will create guilt at first but you will do it. It will be time to stop waiting for permission to play BIG and LOVE your life. No more waiting for anyone to join. Your people will or they won’t, and it just is not up to you. Just GO because there are others on the same path.
- Let’s have a deep shame about not doing well enough in your business so that when you leave your marriage, you have to ask for and receive some serious support. Let’s also have this trace back to being a kid and growing up without any financial security. Let’s make sure it is shame and not guilt. And why not supersize the shame so there’s absolutely no running away from it this time around. (Remember, Guilt says, “I have failed.” Shame says, “I am a failure”)
Okay, so my soul picked out some doozy main courses… How about some side dishes to highlight the main attraction? Let’s sign up for:
- Parents who had extreme money fear. Let’s have them fight it out front of you so much that you feel like you have to fix it. (Perfect that’s a two for one and will trigger the shame of not being successful AND the fuel the desire to be “helpful”)
- And yes, addiction. We’ll start with exercise which will seem healthy but lead you straight to alcoholism. Then a healthy dose of workaholism to keep the shame buried for a while (nothing like staying too busy for introspection). AND that will increase the shame because then it will take even longer to see it.
- Oh yes and let’s add a major health crisis starting at 39 years old that will last for almost a decade. That should do the trick.
Then for a minute, I think, seriously soul… What were you thinking?!?
I get quiet and realize that my soul also signed up for some serious support to navigate these painful things.
This part is a bit like the dessert menu. Let’s order up this:
- An truly gifted therapist as a close friend.
- An unbelievable yoga teacher as another friend.
- A body worker who can actually sit and hold space while you get seriously angry with her… and she can sit there and wait for you to see it has nothing to do with her at all.
- One fabulous plotthound please. Let’s tie him up right in your face so you have to go get him… he’ll be your constant companion and joy through this.
- Three Dachshunds to entertain you and make you remember that “You can do anything if you can roll with four dogs.”
- Two people who have amazing “spare” houses where you can stay while you wait for your “impossible to find” perfect apartment move in date. One will be someone who has known you for so long and shown up for you so many times that you’ll marvel at her continued generosity. And the other who barely knows you but still wants to help, in other words yet another miracle.
- A friend who pays first, last and deposit on your new home.
- A client who is super into minimalist living will arrive just as you move into your new sparse apartment with only your small dresser and your bed. This will inspire you to be happy rather than overwhelmed by your lack of furniture, dishes, pans and you know, anything else.
- A client who gives you cash to buy dishes and start over in your kitchen.
- An acupuncturist that can remotely help you (and is willing to do so) from a great distance.
- Clients who forgive the spacy brain that comes with grief and continue to train at the gym.
- Other clients who have a rock solid belief in God that creates more security and faith in you.
- A new coach to help you connect spiritually.
- A gifted therapist that continues to support.
- A facebook community that will continue to reassure you that you are ON YOUR PATH.
- Darling new tribes in Canada, California and now Italy who continue to remind you that you have people everywhere.
- An AA family that will sit while you cry your eyes out without trying to fix anything. (in fact, they will remind you that nothing is broken)
- Oh yes and let’s have this all come up to come out in a magical place… ah ha… how about Idaho.
This soul level “I signed up for this to learn something” view makes moving through painful stuff easier. It doesn’t take away the pain nor should it. We are here to feel it and learn how to show up for discomfort. But this hawk eye view creates a sense of purpose that makes navigating all this more manageable.
THIS WEEK: As we move into a very very powerful day tomorrow, I hope that you can look at what big lessons are here for you with a hawk’s view. See and acknowledge the challenges. Then be certain to check out the dessert part. There is so much support available if we only just show up to receive.