The End

By Angela

An email popped up in my inbox a couple of days ago questioning is there are really any endings.  My answer to that is yes.  We have beginnings, middles and ends.  The beginning, middle and end to a day.  The beginning, middle and ending to a season.  The beginning, middle and end to a year. And yes, the beginning, middle and the end to a relationship (at least the way we knew it).  

The problem is that most of us have a hard time with the end.  I know I certainly do.  I also know that endings, while often sad, don’t have to be feared or avoided.  They can be mourned, respected, and honored should we choose to do so.  I also know that endings are necessary for the new beginning to start whether it be the day, season, year or relationship.

In honor of a very important relationship in my life that has officially ended legally, I am writing today to say how thankful I am for having had the opportunity to be lucky enough to have been in it.  My former husband was a support, a great love in my life, a trusted friend, a business partner and a significant teacher.  I bless the time we had together and wish us both continued blessings as we now part ways.

I feel like learning to be with sadness, grief, transitions and all the uncomfortable feelings that arise from endings is part of the human experience.  For literally years, I did everything in my power to ignore, repress, cover up and numb anything that brought forth the feelings that this ending is bringing to me now.  Everything from alcohol and drugs to exercise and food was part of that “flee the feelings” scenario for me. I am so thankful to have so much recovery.  It’s still messy but I’m willing to be present and accounted for here in the mess.

There’s no way I can express my gratitude for the people who have continued to show up for me and support the mess, the awakenings, the tears and the joy on this last year of transformation but if you are reading this, most likely you are one of them and I bless and thank you from my completely restructured heart.

I’ll be at my current location until July 31, 2018 so this is the last hurrah.  Tuesday, July 31 will be a dance party to end the dance parties there.  August 1, I’ll be making my way to High Altitude Fitness (you really can go home again apparently) and continue my JOY coaching from my home office.  My JOY coaching includes my somatic experiencing trauma therapy training, my eating psychology training, with strong influences from my 12-step recovery and of course, the Course in Miracles which is to me a life saver.

And this is another illustration of an end because that is officially the end of this blog. 

AngelaThe End